My Fire Hydrant

Well, we’re pretty certain it’s not cancer.

I have that kind of headache that you get with crying.

Dr. C called a little while ago. Her calcium levels are normal (that’s what makes us think it’s not the cancer), her white/red blood cells all normal and blood count good, thyroid normal, her pancreas is good. Even though her bilirubin and albumin are normal, other liver values indicate that there’s something going wrong with her liver. In his words, “Her liver is not pulling its weight.”

His counsel:

• Hospitalize her today
• See a specialist early next week for an ultrasound and a liver biopsy

I pushed back on the hospitalization, and I’m still trying to figure out if I’m being selfish or doing what’s best for my dog.

Bailey and I are very bonded. This has really become apparent during the times I have had to travel in the past year and leave her at home. In nearly 14 years I think I can count on one hand the nights we’ve spent apart. I cannot tolarate the thought of her all alone, in a cage at the vet’s. I KNOW the folks at my vet clinic would take real good care of her–I’ve seen them in action. But they’re not there 24/7. And they close for the weekend today at 1–so it’s not like there would be regular office hours tomorrow. The other option is the emergency vet down the road from my vet. They’re there 24/7 but I have no experience of their work and I am reluctant to leave Bailey in their hands for the next 2 days.

Dr. C says the reasons to hospitalize is so that she can have some support in hydration and electrolytes. But he didn’t work too hard to try and talk me out of keeping her home this weekend. So, as long as she’s willing to eat (anything!), as long as she’s drinking water (and I’m pushing her on that), as long as she’s acting “normal” and not vomiting we’re fine. If she totally refuses to eat anything and/or starts vomiting I will take her to the emergency clinic for hospitalization.

So now we’re again in waiting mode. Dr. C will contact the local canine liver specialist on Monday and arrange for Bailey to have an ultrasound and probably a liver biopsy. She’s an old girl–nearly 14. I have got to do my best to make my upcoming decisions based on her quality of life and not my own selfish needs.

I wish I could stop crying.