My Fire Hydrant

An interesting post on the Dogster blog: Animal Welfare Act: No Table Treats. The headline of the Telegraph probably says it all: Absurd New Guidelines.

I hope someone out there would be willing to post my bail: Feeding your dog from the table could put you in jail!

The holidays are making me nuts! So much going on, so little time to blog it. Gonna try and catch up a little this week on all the stuff that’s happened recently.

First, last Wednesday was Bailey’s one year anniversary for her cancer surgery. STILL NO CANCER SHOWING!! That is by far the very best Christmas present I’ve ever received!

And talk about little stinkers….we had a big Christmas party yesterday, potluck, lotsa food, lotsa sweets, lotsa people. At one point, Bailey got up on my lap and I swear, I could smell chocolate. Hmmm. OK. Next thing I know, a bunch of people are yelling “she’s got the fudge! She’s got the fudge!” and little Miss Bailey had raided someone’s gift bag and was gobbling someone’s home-made fudge!

Great. So now I gotta think of a way to make her vomit up the fudge because chocolate is bad–can be poisonous–for dogs. Turns out she only got 2 pieces, so I was breathing a little easier. But then, she started to make those noises–you know–that nasty, rolfing kinda vomit noise. Yes. My pooch was very cooperative and puked up the offending fudge without any urging from me. And, can we talk massive!? It was an enormous mass of brown chocolatey gunk. Not only was it the fudge, but Miss Thing apparently also got into someone’s chocolate cake, too!

So she had more bad food then I realized (and generally I watch her like a hawk). After the vomits she was pretty subdued. Poor pooch went to her bed for a lay-down (just like a collage frat boy after binge drinking!). And I was left with a chocolate mess on my bedroom carpet.

Not that I minded that much–would rather have it on my bedroom carpet then still in Bailey making her even sicker. And I have a really great stain remover that I use on my carpet:

1/2 cup peroxide
1 teaspoon of ammonia

I keep it mixed up in a spritzer bottle. All I had to do was spritz it on, and towel it off and all the staining disappeared!

And Bailey, though embarrassed at the mess she made, recovered from her upset tummy enough to eat her supper and then play a big game of chase-the-kibble (I toss a piece of dry dog food, she runs after it and eats it).

Also this weekend was the Raindog Parade in Cincinnati. A buddy of mine shot a video and posted it to YouTube–I could not resist sharing:

My little dog has finally proven herself to be a canine gourmet of the highest degree; her epicurean delights know no boundaries. My sweet little fluffer-butt has developed a passion for something that some (misguided) four-footers might view as ambrosia, food for the gods (or dogs, depending on your viewpoint). My rotten spoiled dog has crossed a boundary. She has broken with social convention. In her mature years she has discovered the forbidden fruit. She now knows the ultimate canine treat that may make her anathema to those of us in the two-legged world. It’s a new taste delight that it seems she cannot get enough of: Bunny Turds.

How in the world can I ever allow her to kiss me again, knowing that she eats rabbit poop?

I’ve been spoiling Bailey to the point where she’s put on a couple of extra pounds. Looking back, I would do it all again because at the time the real spoiling started I feared that any day cancer would steal her away from me.

On Saturday, we go for her annual physical. I know the doc is gonna tell me she’s getting too fat. So I’m gonna try and set up some adjustments now. Which brings me to being a victim of THE CONSUMER EXPERIENCE.

I have been feeding Bailey 1/2 a can of Eukanuba Veterinary Diets (EVD) Low Residue each day (7 oz–about 224 calories) along with 1/2 cup of EVD Early Stage Renal (because of Bailey’s bladder stones). Yesterday, I substituted Eukanuba Senior pouch (5.3 oz–143 calories) for the Low Residue. Today I substituted Eukanuba Senior canned (5.5 oz–150 calories) for the Low Residue. This is a savings of approximately 75 calories each day–which is pretty good for a small dog.

At work (The Iams Company) we are in the throes of giving birth to some new products–and I must admit, I have been having a few problems in accepting them.

In the past, we always made our canned food strictly for the dog or the cat–never for the consumer. We never worried about making them attractive to the consumer–as long as they were attractive to the dog or cat. They were in a pate form–usually a funky gray-ish brown color. They never really looked very appetizing to me, but I knew deep down in my soul that they were the best stuff for dogs and cats.

These days, we’ve figured out that it’s not the four-footed consumer who’s shelling out the money to pay for the food–it’s the two-footed consumer. Seems like a no-brainer, but I’m so indoctrinated with the idea that we make this food for dogs and cats, not people, that I’ve been having a really hard time accepting the fact that it’s the people who do the buying. We’re making big changes to our canned products that include gravys, sauces, chunks, flakes, entrees, slices–along with some ingredients that we’ve not used very widely before. We are totally getting rid of our old canned formulas–the pates that were made to be attractive to the dogs and cats, not to the people. Up until today, I’ve been very resistant to what appeared to me to be cosmetic changes made to products who’s stellar nutrition didn’t need to be pretty.

Understand that these new canned products are nutritionally the equal to if not better than the canned products we’re getting rid of. It’s just that they look so pretty! Dogs could care less how pretty their food looks! It seems like a sacrilege to me. How can it be good if it’s pretty? I curled my lip in cynical derision of this pretty food.

And then this morning, for the first time, I opened a can of Eukanuba Senior Chunks with Hearty Beef. The aroma wafted on the air. My appetite was piqued, and I caught myself subconsciously wanting to take a lick of the gravy. Was that parsley in the gravy? And the chunks looked delicious! I was having THE CONSUMER EXPERIENCE! Suddenly, it’s all clear to me! It’s OK that we’re making our canned foods more appealing to the two-footed consumers–and the four-footed consumers will still be getting the best stuff.

And as Bailey danced around singing the “Feed Me! Feed Me NOW!” song, I started to really appreciate how much simple joy she gets out of canned food.

Yeah, I know I’m starting to sound like a Marketing Wonk. But this morning was an epiphany for me–I don’t think I’ll ever think of our canned food the same again. I’m even starting to look forward to eating it when my Social Security runs out.

What a mess!

Yes. It’s true. I have been ignoring my dog (she said trembling as she entered the blog confessional). Life has been hellish for the past 3 weeks.

My mom and I share a house (that’s not what makes life hellish). We generally split home-owning/house-keeping duties down the middle. My mom had heart surgery during the third week of March.

So I have been doing all the home-keeping and trying to fit in my 40-hours/week at Iams (my boss is the best! Thank you Marti!) plus taking care of mom–in the hospital, and since she got home.

But our routine was totally interrupted during the time my mom was in the hospital. For those 7 days, I came home to feed and walk the pooch, and to sleep. Bailey was not pleased.

Since my mom got home I have been devoting more time to her and the house-keeping than I’ve been able to devote to the puppy princess. Bailey doesn’t understand the extra time I spend doing chair exercises in the kitchen with my mom. Or why I need to jump up off the couch just when Bailey’s gotten comfortable in her favorite position on top of me (head down, butt up). She resents the need to move, and gives me many looks of long-suffering annoyance. Thank goodness for pee pads!

I will admit, I have been lucky. Bailey has exhibited her displeasure in mild, not-too-destructive ways. Sometimes she expresses her feelings by pulling all of her food out of her dish. She gets fed a combination of dry kibble, canned food, and about 1/2 cup of water (to help with the stones.) Look at this photo! This is what she’s decided to do with her food lately! She pulled out all of the kibble and ate only the canned food and water!

The other thing she does is “the look”–anyone with a dog or a cat knows what “the look” is. Only a dog or cat can really pull off this extreme look of displeasure or distaste. Bailey frowns at me and silently chews me out with her eyes for forcing her to move from on top of me where she has just achieved snooze nirvana. She is mightily displeased that I’m not at my desk so that she can take her morning nap in her bed underneath my desk. And what’s up with all the time I’m spending in the kitchen sitting in a chair and waving my arms around with Grandma? Let’s not even talk about the looks I get when it’s raining out. I have truly displeased the Queen!

Before this, we (Bailey and I) had our regular routine–get up in the morning (Bailey always supervises my teeth brushing while she grooms my feet). Go to work in the office (again, Bailey supervises from her bed beneath my desk–any questions that I can’t answer, she can). We quit around 6 in the evening (usually after Bailey has sat in the doorway and moaned at me a few times–”It’s time to quit and feed me NOW”). Watch TV until Letterman drives us to bed (Bailey has a favorite spot as high up as she can get on top of me up against the back of the sofa–she prefers to put her butt in my face, but I generally squelch that idea).

To top things off, we’ve had several rainy days in the past 3 weeks. Bailey really hates going potty outside when it’s wet. And it’s really important that Bailey go potty on a regular basis because she is prone to bladder stones and bladder stones like to grow when the bladder is not emptied often enough. It got to the point where she would refuse to cross the threshold of the door–she would just stop. If I tried to persuade her to step outside by gently tugging on the leash, she would get this mutinous look on her face while she locked her legs and dug in her feet–”ain’t no way you’re gonna drag me out into that nasty wet grass!”

So I’m riding a big guilt trip. Things are getting better–my mom is able to do more for herself, and I’m trying to win my way back into the pup’s good graces. I didn’t make things much better when I took her to the vet on Saturday for her monthly check. The look of outrage I received as Dr. B. stuck her fingers up Bailey’s butt cut me to the quick! But it had to be done–and the good news is that the cancer is still laying relatively quiet.

What a wonderful world it could be: My mom living another 80 years (ok, maybe another 30) and Bailey defying oncologist logic and living another 10! Heck, I’d settle for a little less–maybe 9?

I take back everything I said in my previous post about Med Vet–they are some of the nicest, most empathetic people I’ve ever come across!

Bailey had her surgery on Tuesday–Dr. Schertel called me around 10:30 am to let me know the surgery was done and she was in recovery (I also found out later that he called my vet, Dr. B. to let her know what was going on). It was actually 2 surgeries–the first one was to “strip” the 2 sub-lumbar lymph nodes. They did that through an incision that runs from about 3 inches below her rib cage nearly to her little “private parts” down her abdomen. The 2nd surgery was to remove the left anal gland–an incision that runs a little over an inch out from her anus.

We picked her up on Wednesday afternoon. Poor little sweetheart–she looked like some demented Poodle groomer had gotten ahold of her. Her front legs had Poodle puffs around her “ankles” then she was clipped down to her skin around her “calves” with her “thighs” being furry. She has a bare skin patch on the lower part of her back, and her little heiny is totally bare all the way around her private parts and her underbelly up to her rib cage (gives new meaning to “bare-ass nekid!”)

The incisions look healthy, but scary. She has stitches and metal sutures in her belly incision. The little incision off her anus has stitches.

They told me to keep the e-collar on her at all times–but she doesn’t rest well with it on. She behaves as if she’s being punished. So I’ve spent the past 3 days in the bed room with her as much as possible to keep an eye out that she doesn’t mess with her stitches (thank the Good Lord that I can work from home!). She’s stayed mostly quiet. I’ve not had much sleep.

We’ve had 2 traumas.

Trauma 1: Around 6pm on Thursday, Bailey vomited. This was scary because I got the e-collar off her just in time for her to urp (I had only put it on her 15-minutes prior, this was the defining moment for me and the e-collar–I now hate it as much as Bailey does). I heard her whining–she hardly ever whines–I popped off the collar and she threw up a mass of yellow bile (will need to get the stain out of the carpet soon), with a little bit of kibble thrown in (I had managed to hand-feed her 8 kibbles that morning). I called Med Vet. This is where my mediocre opinion about them changed.

I spoke with Dr. Jenny Lang–she works with Dr. Schertel and had been part of my original consult with him. She was more concerned over the vomit than I was (WHAT??). She told me to discontinue the Carprofen–she thought that might be upsetting Bailey’s tummy. She was also a little worried that Bailey had not been eating (see Trauma 2). She said she could prescribe a new pain med from a local pharmacy, if I thought it was needed, and for me to call her back in the morning.

Around midnight Bailey was restless–up to now she had seemed mostly sleepy and content to lay in her bed. I called Med Vet. The Emergency Room vet tech was incredibly empathetic to me–she took the Walgreens phone number (God bless the person who decided that Walgreens would be open 24/7!), and she contacted Dr. Jenny to find out what pain med should be prescribed (probably woke her up at home!). By 1:30am I was giving Bailey her new pain med (Tramadol) and by 2am she was fast asleep. (All of this happening during a massive snow storm–when I drove to Walgreens the only other vehicles I saw were snow plows!)

Trauma 2: Bailey has not eaten anything since Monday night–the night before her surgery. On Thursday morning I managed to hand-feed her some kibbles, but she urped them. When I spoke to Dr. Jenny on Friday morning she said to try anything to get her to eat–chicken and rice or canned food. I called my vet (wonderful Dr. B.) and got a prescription for EVD Low Residue canned food.

OMIGOSH! I gave her a couple of healthy tablespoons with a little chicken broth and you would think she was starving the way she attacked her food! (I guess she was, poor baby, with nothing in her tummy since Monday night!). We did small servings all day on Friday. She seemed to be a little perkier.

At 7pm Mom and I sat down for supper in the great room (first time that we’ve had supper together since Monday night). Guess who joins us! Little Miss Puppy Butt comes out of the bed room (she had not voluntarily left her bed since she came home), not at her usual frisky trot, but at a kinda nervous gait plopping herself down at my Mom’s feet (the best spot for fallen tid bits). She stayed there the entire time we ate supper, then minced nervously back to her bed.

Later on, she “asked” to come up onto the bed with me. She has not done that all week. Around 4:15 this morning she jumped off the bed before I could lift her down and headed for her pee pad. She did a massive pee (first time she’s used the pee pad since the surgery–I’ve been putting a coat on her and “forcing” her to go outside to pee–she hasn’t wanted to leave her bed). Then, wonder of wonders (!), she started to do the poopy dance.

[OK, if you're reading this you probably think I'm nuts, but my dog exhibits definite, definable movements when she's getting ready to have a bowel movement. She does a poopy dance. I don't know how to catalogue it, but I can recognize it when she does it. Just like I can recognize the way she moves when she is uncomfortable (like when she joined us for supper last night). Her moves are fast and jerky, her tail is at half-mast, and she moves to her destination without stopping for anything--not even an interesting smell.]

The whole BM thing has had me worried because–remember–she has this incision held together with stitches at 8 o’clock coming off of her anus. But out popped 2 little poops with no apparent problem! They came out easily, and she did not seem to experience any pain when they did. I felt like doing my own dance. Bailey re-settled herself on her bed with the opinion that I was silly to be dancing around the bedroom in the middle of the night.

Her stitches/sutures come out next Friday. We will also see the radiologist then. I am not convinced that I should put Bailey through radiation or chemo, I hate the idea of making her suffer anymore than she already has! But I’m going to hear what the radiologist has to say.

These past couple of days I find I am able to talk about Bailey’s cancer without crying, maybe I’ve begun to accept it (even as I type this I feel my eyes stinging and tearing up). And I am amazed and humbled at the number of friends and acquaintances who have come forward, asking about Bailey and offering support. I’m still not in much of a holiday mood, but I’ve begun to think I might make it to January.