My Fire Hydrant

We’re waiting.

Bailey has stopped eating. In my heart, I’m certain it’s the food. But remember where I work (Consumer Relation, Iams). My head knows it’s NOT the food.

Our usual routine has been topsy-turvey because of the holidays–I’ve taken some massive vacation time and our usual day of get up/dressed, walk the pooch, feed the pooch, sit at my desk and work with pooch in bed under desk, has been totally disrupted. And Bailey has been annoyed because of this disruption. Nearly every morning of my vacation, as we finish up the dress/walk/feed chores that never change, she stands in the hall outside my office, looks at me and says, “Time for work, aren’t you coming to your desk?” And when I go in a different direction she gets this confused and then annoyed look because I’m deviating from the routine. So when she started to skip a meal here-and-there I put it down to the upheaval in our routine.

Looks like I was probably wrong.

I’ve mentioned before that I feed Bailey 4 times a day. Tuesday night, she refused to eat at her last feeding of the day. Wednesday, she would only eat lunch and supper. Thursday, she refused to eat all 4 meals.

Now the thing that has made me crazy is that she’ll eat her biscuits, or a handful of MiniChunks (which I happened to have on hand) or scraps from the table (yes, I know, bad mom) no problem. So I thought “There’s nothing wrong–she’ll eat other stuff, just not her regular meal. There must be something wrong with the food.”

My head knows it’s not the food.

Remember, Bailey is diabetic. She was due for a check on her blood sugar, so I took her to our favorite clinic on Wednesday and a wonderful vet tech pulled some blood. Her blood sugar was at 213–which is good.

Then Thursday she totally would not eat her regular meals. And each time I offered it she looked at me like I was missing some kind of crucial ceremony that would allow her to eat. Her eyes said if only I would say the magic words or do the magic hand wave she would be able to eat the food I was placing before her. But obviously I was too head-stupid to figure out what the magic charm was that would allow her to eat, so she sadly ducked her head and walked away from the bowl.

I still thought this was part of the routine-disruption. Eventually she would be hungry enough to eat.

I didn’t give her her shot on Thursday evening–I didn’t want her blood sugar to bottom out because that can be life-threatening. For the short-term it would be far less harmful if her blood sugar was slightly elevated.

During the night on Thursday she woke me 4 times so that I could lift her off the bed so she could drink water. And twice insisted that she needed to go out to the patio to pee (she seems to be on strike against the pee pad). I kinda expected this–after all when her blood sugar level is high she gets thirsty. I did not get much sleep.

One of the advantages of working where I do is I have access to a team of veterinarians who are never too busy to discuss Bailey’s health. Friday morning I talked the situation over with two of my best buds–Dr. Dicke and Jen-the-vet-tech. They both agreed it was time to call my vet.

My vet was in emergency surgery, so I left a long voice mail for her. Before noon she called me–she had a family commitment and was about to leave for the day, but she felt I should bring Bailey in today rather than wait till she was next in on Monday so she had made arrangements for us to see her colleague, Dr. C. at 2. I was very comfortable with this because we’ve seen Dr. C. in the past (though it was several years ago), and he’s very nice and very smart.

After I told him our story, he did a full exam on Bailey. And found that she has an infected tooth. (I am a bad mom).

The tooth didn’t seem to be painful (yet). He didn’t want to rule it out, but he also didn’t want to jump to the conclusion that the tooth was the problem. So blood tests were needed. It could be a bladder infection (she has a history), or her liver or her thyroid or her pancreas. Or it could be that the cancer is back. Blood tests will give us better indications.

In the meanwhile he prescribed clavamox (an antibiotic) which will help with the tooth and also the possible bladder infection. And he will phone me before noon tomorrow (today? I think it’s after midnight) to let me know the lab results on her blood.

And so, we wait.

It’s been a long time since I posted an update on my little girl. Today, we went to see our favorite veterinarian, Dr. B., for Bailey’s monthly check up.

 In case you didn’t know, Bailey was diagnosed with cancer over 3 years ago, had surgery to remove her left anal gland and 2 lymph nodes, and given only a few months to live. That was in December, 2005. Since that time, we’ve gone monthly to our vet to keep track of any resurgence of the cancer. Some people might think the money would have been better spent paying off my Visa bill, but I disagree.

To check the status of Bailey’s cancer, Dr. B must (OK, this may gross you out) stick her finger up into Bailey’s butt. It’s a really good thing that Dr. B is a petite person–her fingers are small! And today we found…….everything NORMAL, NO CANCER! [[doing my happy dance!!]]

Bailey’s heart is beating very well–no murmurs, her lungs sound good–she’s taking nice deep breaths, her reflexes are good (though her back legs are a little weak), and her weight continues at 18.9 pounds.

Now the other side of the coin: her cataracs have gotten noticibly worse–Dr. B has said that every visit for the past 3 months. I suspect my girl is going to be blind very soon. And I have been a very neglectful mom in that I have gotten out of the habit of cleaning her teeth and it’s starting to show!! BAD MOM!!! (where’s the rolled up newspaper?) I have GOT to make a better effort to brush her teeth!

We also discussed the fact that Bailey has had a few more incidents of  “backwards sneezing” lately, and some rough breathing. Dr. B. feels very certain that this is due to environmental allergies which we will take care of with some baby Benadryl.

When the exam was over, Bailey retreated to her Sherpa bag–her safe place. Poor sweetheart! Not only did we inturrupt puppy nap time for the vet visit, but she had to undergo the indignity of having her butt checked! One of the wonderful women who work at the front desk at the clinic gave Bailey a cookie, which didn’t exactly make up for her lost dignity, but which certainly helped make her feel better.

Christie Keith is a part of the blogging machine over at the Pet Connection blog. She posted today that her dog, a beautiful senior Scottish Deerhound named Sindar Rebel of Caber Feidh–Rebel for short–has crossed over the Rainbow Bridge.  My heart goes out to her!

Rebel was 10.5 years old, had recently been dealing with some health issues, and wasn’t bouncing back to good health as he did when he was younger. As I have seen with Bailey (and my mom) recovery for older animals (four-legged and two-legged) sometimes doesn’t bring them back to the same point of health they were at before they got sick. Little health problems are of much greater concern as we all age. Nothing is ever simple.

Sometimes, the meds/health care don’t work. The cure seems to be worse than the disease. Last fall, Bailey hurt her back. We did x-rays, but the way the vet team had to position her body seemed to aggravate the injury and made her even more miserable.  Plus she had a bad reaction to the pain meds. We (me and my vet) wanted to do what was best for her, and ended up probably making matters worse.

Rebel’s simple (for a younger dog) problem of a bladder infection was made so much more complicated and dangerous because Rebel was an older dog. I have been in this same situation with Bailey. These things are never simple.

What can a pet parent do to give an older pet a better chance to recover their health back to where they were before they got sick?

VISIT THE VET: For a senior dog it’s advised to schedule a vet visit every 6 months. For Bailey, we actually see Dr. B. once a month to monitor her cancer–and I’ve learned to do without a few things so that I can afford good veterinary care. Being a canine hypochondriac may be embarrassing, but treating little illnesses before they become big problems keeps Bailey in better health.

KNOW YOUR DOG: Because life changes can be so gradual, it’s good to have a (written, hard copy) list of “normal” behaviors to refer to–a list of how your dog behaves when she’s happy. This can become your doggie health barometer. I made up my list when Bailey was first diagnosed with cancer. Here are some of the items I use to check Bailey’s mental and physical health:

• Bailey barks when the doorbell rings.
• Bailey “grooms” my feet (she licks them–which tickles tremendously) when I brush my teeth.
• At every opportunity, Bailey will pull the kitchen towels off the rack. Sometimes she gives particularly recalcitrant towels a shake before dropping. 
• For attention, Bailey will tear off pieces of the newspaper if we leave it on the floor–and will run with a “chase me!” attitude when noticed.

When Bailey stops doing any of these things, I go on alert looking for other health clues. And I usually consult Dr. B. because for an older dog nothing is ever simple.

MAKE A PLAN: While your dog is well and your own emotions are under control, think about what you would want to do if your dog’s health suddenly deterioated. Think of this as a living will for your pet. Talk to your family members. Get advice from your vet. Figure out how you want to deal with things like invasive surgery or heroic measures before the decision is forced upon you.

ACCEPT: OK, bottom line is that no matter how much you plan, consult, talk, examine and make lists, in the end it may still come down to a crystal ball decision. What kind of medical treatment  and how much medical treatment your senior dog receives might still be determined by your gut feeling. So make what choices you can ahead of time and hope that your crystal ball is not cluttered with clouds.

My heart goes out to Christie. I know from reading her posts that she loved Rebel and gave him a good life. And he’s waiting for her on the other side–of this I’m certain.

My old girl.

Reco =  Recommendation

Big thanks to Cooper and Otis who pointed this out to me last week–even before I heard about it at work!

I gotta love a company that features stuff for dogs!! And it makes them doubly cuddly because they’re supporting the fight against canine cancer.

Orvis is having a photo contest which includes an opportunity for consumers to contribute to The Morris Animal Foundationto help find a cure for canine cancer. Orvis and Eukanuba will match $$ contributions  made through the photo contest site, so your contribution counts twice! As you may know, Bailey is a cancer survivor–so we feel very supportive of any contest that helps generate money to fight canine cancer.

Last year’s contest winner is named Dylan. He’s a Golden Retriever, a cancer survivor, and he’s on the cover of the latest Orvis catalogue swimming with a tennis ball in his mouth! (Also check out Henry, Zoey & Grace, and Thatcher & Winston.)

You can enter your dog in the contest up until 11:59 PM ET on January 24, 2010. Voting ends on February 7, 2010 at 11:59 PM ET. HEY COOP AND OTIS! You guys are way cute–you should enter the contest!

[This link takes you to the press release. And if you wanna know everything about fly fishing, check out the Orvis YouTube channel!]

It has been a rough few days.

Bailey has not really bounced back to her regular obnoxious self since our last visit to Dr. B. She’s been a little mopey, a little bit off her food, not quite squatting right when she pees. And then last week I noticed her drinking from her water dish.

OK, if you’re not up on Bailey’s story drinking water from her water dish won’t look like a red flag. Here’s why I began to feel anxious: I feed Bailey 4 times a day. She gets a “soup” of canned and kibble that includes around 1/2 cup of water per meal. So she gets at minimum 2 cups of water a day. We do this because she is prone to bladder stones and I want her urine to be dilute in the hopes that we flush out any crystals. Her water dish is basically there for show. She NEVER touches it.

The thing that started us on the journey to Bailey’s cancer diagnosis was that she was drinking excess water.

So last week when I noticed her drinking water, I immediately got that feeling in the pit of my stomach. At first I was in denial: she was drinking because she was off her food so she needed to make up the water she didn’t get at lunch. It was a fluke! She just ate a biscuit, so she was feeling a little dry! Yeah, right. I’ve said it before: Denial is a river in Egypt.

Then this past weekend she woke me up in the middle of the night because she needed to be lifted off the bed so she could get a drink of water. Monday, she drank nearly the entire bowl. Tuesday we went to the vet.

In my mind, I associate excess water drinking with the cancer. I was certain that it was back. Dr. B. examined her butt–no new tumors in that anal gland area. We talked about the likelihood of the cancer having migrated to her bones (might explain some of the discomfort she’s been feeling lately) or her organs. I did my best not to cry. She did a blood draw for the lab, and Bailey and I went home to wait for the results.

I have not had a good night’s sleep for over a week now.

I did not expect to hear from her until after lunch, but around 8:30 this morning the phone rang. “Are you ready for the news? SHE’S DIABETIC!”

OMIGOSH!! Not wonderful news, but SO MUCH BETTER THAN CANCER!! We can treat diabetes!

So late this afternoon I went over to Bigger Road so that one of their very wonderful vet techs could teach me how to give Bailey insulin shots. Twice a day. Bailey and I practiced with saline solution. The tech gave her the first insulin before we left. Tomorrow morning, it’s my turn to deliver the shot. All evening I’ve been going over in my mind how I can do this to make it relaxing for Bailey so that we can make getting her insulin shot a positive experience.

It’s not the cancer. It’s treatable. I think I’ll sleep tonight.

I’m having one of those karmic moments when, once again, it’s revealed that there’s no such thing as a coincidence…

I spent much of yesterday talking to folks on Twitter. One of the conversations was about a wonderful video titled “Smile.” I think I must have looked at it 4 or 5 times ’cause it’s just so darn uplifting! And yesterday I needed a little uplifting because Bailey had spent the previous 24+ hours in discomfort due (I now firmly believe) to my own incredible stupidity.

“Smile” ends with one of the rehabilitated Michael Vick dogs in a Santa hat, along with the logo for Best Friends Animal Sanctuary–where DogTown is located. (“Wow!” I said. “This video supports Best Friends, and Best Friends is also DogTown–one of my favorite TV shows!”)

Today, I am trying to catch up on all my favorite blogs–I’m about a week behind.

Horst Hoefinger over on Dogster had a post that caught my eye because it talked about the I’m tired of… web site. (“Hmmm,” I said. “That site had some association with that wonderful Smile video I looked at so much yesterday.”)

Horst’s post lead me to a blog over on the Huffington Post site (last night I finished reading a Time Magazine article on Arianna Huffington) written by Carrie Pollare.

Here’s where the real karmic moment happened: She was writing about her dog, who was diagnosed with anal gland cancer, and she created the Smile video which had given me such comfort yesterday!

Carrie’s experience with Noah’s cancer parallels my own experience with Bailey. Though I chose not to do chemo and radiation, both of us have focused on quality of life as our measurement for what to do. Both of us are a little over cautious. Both of us have cried our eyes out. Our dogs have both had the same surgeries. We have both encountered people who have looked at us like we’re nuts (“It’s just a dog…”). And we’ve both found tremendous support in the community of people who also share their lives with dogs.

What brings tears to my eyes is our one big difference: Noah’s cancer has returned.

Every time I take Bailey in for her monthly check, I’m rehearsing in my mind what Carrie is now experiencing. Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe what all dog people feel when we realize it’s time for our pooch to cross the Rainbow Bridge without us!

Thank you so much, Carrie Pollare, for sharing comfort by creating such a lovely video. As Paul Harvey used to say, now I know the rest of the story.

I think I’ll watch “Smile” again.

Bailey will be 13 years old on March 11. Some of you may remember that after her cancer surgery back in December of 2005, I was told she probably wouldn’t live for more than a few months. Hah! THREE YEARS LATER, she’s still going strong. I think that’s worth a celebration, don’t you?

So here’s what we’re gonna do: We’re gonna have an online birthday celebration on March 11, and EVERYBODY is invited.

I’ve already started planning–Bailey had her first photo shoot so that we can make a badge for our friends to use on their blogs. As you can see by this photo, she was not exactly thrilled to be wearing a happy birthday hat!

In celebration of the extra three years I’ve had with Bailey, I want to ask everybody out there to make some kind of donation to their local shelter or rescue group. This can be a donation of money or food or time. On March 11, I would like to invite everybody to come to my blog and let us know how you celebrated Bailey’s birthday or what you pledge to do for your local shelter to celebrate Bailey’s birthday.

More to come…

Shelter donations are down.