My Fire Hydrant

Four years ago, just after Bailey had her cancer surgery, I purchased a digital camera that also took videos. At the time we thought her life would be very short because of our choice not to do chemo/radiation, and I wanted some good photos of her. Silly humans! Of course my contrary little dog would live longer than the dogtors said she would!

Five of the videos I took back then ended up on my YouTube channel. I see a difference in my girl between that time four years ago, and recently. The videos are Bailey in her prime–demanding, noisy, and singing for cookies. This is the way I want to remember her.

This last one has had over 40,000 views!! All I can think of is that it’s sitting on somebody’s website racking up views.

OK, if you really want to make yourself nuts, hit the go button on all five videos at the same time.

I’m on vacation until after the New Year, so with nothing better to do I was messing around on the Internet and came across the following joke. This is actually something that I’ve come across before–in fact, with I Googled it I found over 1,100 hits! So for your enjoyment, I present The “Iams Diet.”

Don’t ask a retiree a dumb question…

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn’t you like to respond like this? Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Iams Dog Food for my loyal pet, Abby, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the “Iams Diet” again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Iams nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

I am mostly dealing with retirees during my vacation, so I can totally believe that some old codger came up with this story–it’s exactly the kind of joke my Uncle Bill would have told!

Tomorrow our holiday season hits a crescendo with everyone coming to our house for “Family Christmas.” I feel properly smug–got my shopping and wrapping all done.

It snowed overnight.

Before you become enchanted with the scene, remember: Today’s White Christmas is tomorrow’s slush!

Bailey, who is famous for refusing to potty outside if there is even a remote possibility that her feet might get wet, was heard to mumble “Bah! Humbug!” in her native Bichonese.

Not everybody likes the snow.

I know it’s after Halloween, but I had to share this wonderful eCard I received from Skeezix:

For the past 10 days, I have been obsessing over Twilight.

Are you familiar with this series of books? Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, and (I recently discovered) a partially finished manuscript on Stephenie Meyer’s web site called Midnight Sun.

I’ve been very annoyed with myself for getting sucked into this vortex. I’ve put my real life on hold because I’ve had my head stuck in one of the four-and-a-half (I’ve been reading Midnight Sun on my iPhone and going blind) books. I’ve been trapped in the story even when I’m not reading.

Almost all the time during the past 10 days my enjoyment in reading about Bella and Edward has been tempered with a certain amount of cynicism and some outright disgust. What kind of love includes stalking and fear? And why was I finding this so appealing?

I finally had to resort to some online research to resolve my feelings, and here’s what I’ve decided: Edward is like a dog (With the exception of the last book of the series Breaking Dawn–I’m still trying to figure that one out).

TOP TEN REASONS WHY EDWARD IS SIMILAR TO THE BEST KIND OF DOG

10. He has inspired cult-like forums and web sites, similar to breed-specific forums and web sites

9. He is as polarizing as a discussion on what dog food to feed (raw versus kibble, brand A versus brand B)

8. He has a face that is “angelic,” something all dogs have

7. He is fascinating to watch

6. He watches over Bella as she sleeps

5. He follows Bella around when she’s awake

4. He snarls and growls when he plays with Bella

3. He snarls and growls when danger threatens Bella

2. He exists just to make sure that Bella is happy

And the number 1 reason: He gives Bella unconditional love

If you are interested in further reading the following links were very helpful to me and I highly recommend them (especially if you’ve felt as conflicted as I have in your response to the Twilight series):

My Thoughts on Twilight

Five Reasons a Smart Young Woman Adores Twilight

Five Reasons a Smart Middle Aged Woman Loathes Twilight

And because the movie just didn’t do it for me: If Twilight Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest.

I’ve discussed it with some of my friends. We’re seriously thinking of starting a Twilight 12-step program.

Twilightaholics Anonymous?

TOMORROW is National Hairball Awareness Day!

Don’t forget to enter your kittie in the “Who’s Your Favorite Furball Contest” going on right now to help raise money for Kitten Rescue of Los Angeles! The winner gets a free FURminator deShedding tool and will also have a photo featured at http://www.peoplepets.com/.

I’ve just been informed that Friday (April 24) is National Hairball Awareness Day! So I wondered, who came up with the brilliant idea to recognize Hairballs? Near as I can tell, it was the National Museum of Health & Medicine.

In fact, I came across their press release that says “…From April 25 – May 4, the Museum will offer a temporary exhibition of nine hairballs (also called “trichobezoars”) from the Museum’s collection of 24 veterinary and 3 human specimens. The exhibition will inform the visitor about the myths and realities of these medical curiosities…”

You can even visit their virtual hairball exhibit!

I think my favorite hairbal from the virtual exhibit is this trichobezoar from a human which is courtesy of the Department of Radiology, Armed Forces Institute of Pathology.

Can you say EUWWWWWWWW!!??!

If you are anywhere near Washington D.C., I think this is one of those “must see” exhibits. (Or, maybe not.)

If you’re not near D.C., you can still have a great time celebrating National Hairball Awareness Day, and do a good deed for kitties. My buddy Romeo and his buddy FURminator, Inc are sponsoring the “Who’s Your Favorite Furball?” contest.

The winner of the contest gets a free FURminator DeShedding Tool (Romeo demonstrates on our left) and will also see their beloved furball featured on People Pets and many popular pet blogs across the Internet (including this one!).

Everyone who enters also gets the satisfaction of doing a good deed for Romeo’s April FURPOWER beneficiary, Kitten Rescue of Los Angeles.

Here’s what you do:

1. Visit Romeo The Cat and click on the FirstGiving link to donate $1 (or more if you choose!) to Romeo’s FURPOWER beneficiary of the month, Kitten Rescue of Los Angeles.

2. Submit your favorite, funniest, furriest furball photo (cats only, please!) via email to Romeo at RomeoTheCat dot com and tell Romeo how winning a FURminator deShedding Tool will change your life (and your furball’s life!). Make sure to include the following information:

~ Your Favorite Furball’s name
~ How winning a FURminator deShedding Tool will change your life (and your furball’s life!)
~ Your name
~ Your email address
~ What name you used with your FirstGiving donation

Entries must be submitted by 9 p.m. EST Thursday, April 23, 2009.

3. A Favorite Furball gallery will be posted on Romeo The Cat leading up to the big announcement.

4. The winner will be selected via a random drawing.

5. The winner will be announced on Romeo The Cat, People Pets, and participating blogs at 12 p.m. EST Friday, April 24, 2009.

Contest parameters:
~ Contest is only open to cats (sorry doggies!)
~ Entrants must be located in the U.S. or Canada
~ Entries must be submitted by 9:00 p.m. EST on Thursday, April 23, 2009
~ Entrants agree to allow their photo to be posted on participating blogs

If you have additional questions, please contact Romeo at RomeoTheCat dot com.

Good luck! And let the coughing begin!

As I was surfing this morning, I came across Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans (read this, it’s very funny!), posted by Laura over at My Favorite People are Dogs. Coincidentally, yesterday I was going through some old paperwork and came across some quotes I’ve been collecting. Thanks, Laura, for inspiring me to post!

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney

We give dogs the time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.
-Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
- Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret

My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.
-Anonymous

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous